ouch.

I'm in studyhall, just sitting here...my whole entire body hurts. My head, my arms, my chest, my throat, my hands, did I mention my head?! So Ashley Eaton makes me mad at times. She tells ME not to have sex with MY boyfriend...yet she's had sex with 3 different guys that she didn't even go out with for HALF as long as I've been going out with Dalton. I think I can take care of myself, you know...I mean I've been through enough. I'm not easy...if I want to have sex with someone, I'll have sex with him...I don't need someone who doesn't even know anything about me anymore to tell me what I should and shouldn't do. I'm not stupid. I don't just jump in bed with anyone, and Dalton wouldn't make me do anything like that unless I wanted to. It just pisses me off she thinks I would. Matt was a whole different situation, and it's long gone with Matt. It's over. Let me move on, I can do it alone. I'm a big girl for God's sake. Anyways...now that I got that off my chest...I think I'm going to stay home tomorrow. Because my body hurts so bad I can't focus on anything. I miss Dalton. I wanna talk to him. :) I can't wait for halloween. I'm so excited. :) :) I don't really have a whole lot left to say. I just need to sleep. But I have community service after this, for an hour :( ouch.

ohhh Dalton, how you make me smile :)

Yesterday I got to hang out with Dalton for like 3 hours. It was great. Even though I got Tara mad at me...We watched stepbrothers, and he made me laugh a lot. He got my sisters approval, which is kind of funny. She came to pick me up, and got out and shook hands with him and everything, and then we hugged, and kissed, and i left. When we were texting each other last night, I was saying how my sisters pretty & blah blah blah, and he's like "yeah she is, but so are you." and I said "yeah. I'm sure I'll prolly look like her when I'm older. hopfully. And have someone love me as much as dustin loves her." and he's like I bet i could match that. so I told him all the cute things dustin does...and he's like yep. I could double that. :) It was adorable. Then his goodbye isn't goodbye. It's always just I love you. Because he said that he doesn't want 'bye' to be the last thing I hear. He wants the last thing I hear from him to be I love you, so I always know that. :) It's so cute. He might be able to come to the Jaycees haunted house with me, kels, and jonny. That'd be sooo fun. I was telling him I might chicken out, cause I'm a scardy cat, and he said if he goes, I have to go. Because he wants someone to hold on to. <3>

I feel like we actually sort of have something now...idk how to explain it. We hang out more now, and sort of talk more. So it's easier. I don't feel so lost anymore. I don't know how to explain it. I'm not that dependent on him, but I wouldn't want to go a day without talking to him. I think I am actually feeling the real kind of love though. Because it feels like a soft breeze blowing through my hair. When I'm with him everything is ok. I'm calm. My heart slows pace, and we breathe the same rythum. I miss him already...

d.a.k.o.t.a <3's>

It's gonna take 97 missed calls to finally get over you*

This used to be about Craig...well now I got a bigger problem. Febreeze. I want to be with him so bad. I keep telling myself that I'm going to make him come after me...make him text me first. Well last night, unlike the night before, I texted him...and he did text back. I told him to guess what I was doing, and he said 'idk'. All the sudden I just had a wave of disapointment wash over me. And it emotionally wore me down to nothing. I feel as if I can't feel anything at all. All I want is him to love me. For us to have a relationship, to be together. To get married someday. Have our own house. A puppy, have kids of our own. That's what I want with him.

So he finally texted me back........he asked me where I was driving, and I told him Baltic. Then he said 'what when where why.' I explained, saying I'm going because the love of my life lives near there, and I want to be with him. He asked how long, and I said I don't know yet...maybe three days. Now he asked me if I'm by myself. I said yes & I'm scared. Tara is going to kill me. My sister is going to kill me.

My phone is going to die.

Why do I love him so much? I can't even help it. I hate it.